Under Pressure
by Kronoskingofthemonkeypeople
Summary: Post "One Life To Lose". Beckett questions the nature of her relationships with Josh and Castle as a mutilated body shows up, bringing the team deep into the machinations of an international sub-culture.
1. Chapter I

**Chapter I**

Kate Beckett stirred in her sleep. The deep smell of coffee wafted over her, as her dreams turned back to when she was young, sitting up on the big table with her dad, the weekend sun bursting through the windows, hitting the pile of newspapers he'd spend the day sifting through. She tried to be big and tough when the smell of his thick black coffee would overcome that of her mum's breakfast and race up her nose and into her head, making it swim and her stomach squirm. She saw him roll his eyes when she clasped her nose shut and turned green, but still he got up from the table, poured the dark liquid into the sink and switched to tea. She saw her dad's hand move towards her, grasping a mug, but when she picked it up, it had turned to a large paper cup. Kate carefully plied off the plastic cover and took a long, deep breath of the warm liquid. She looked up, where Castle was gazing back at her, his blue eyes wistful as a small smile crinkled from the side of his mouth. A hand reached out to hers holding it against the radiating warmed of the cup that started to flow all through her body…

_Castle._

"Morning Kate."

Kate's eyes shot open. In front of her was Josh, sitting on the edge of her bed fully clothed and laying his hand on hers. She quickly shook away her dreams as the warmth ran out of her and she gave a small smile and squeeze of his hand.

"Josh. What are you doing here?"

"Just scrubbed out of an emergency operation but I've got the day off, so I thought I should spend it with you. Got you breakfast."

He turned around, revealing a tray of toast and coffee on the bedside table, which he picked up and lay before Kate as she slowly propped herself up against the headboard.

"Thanks Josh, but I've got to go in to work soon." She said before she looked at the clock and its glaring reminder that she had a whole hour to get ready. She normally loved all the precious time she could have with Josh, but for some reason this morning it was just a bit irritating. Just a tiny bit.

"That's fine, just having a quiet moment where you eat a proper breakfast is all I ask. But since I've got the day off, I'm going to cook you dinner tonight; candles, wine and everything."

"Quality time." Kate smiled softly and picked up a piece of toast.

"Quality time." Josh leaned over and beat the toast to her mouth, giving her a slow, soft kiss. He moved back only a few inches from her face, his dark eyes filling her view. "Now eat your breakfast."

She munched on her toast but didn't touch her coffee as Josh sipped his as he sat next to her and picked up an envelope from the bedside table. Placing his mug down, he opened the envelope and pulled out the large glossy picture from inside it. His dark eyebrow shot up.

"_Temptation Lane_? Isn't that one of those soap-operas?"

Kate stopped eating and shot a nervous look at Josh. Should she tell him about it? She has barely told him anything about her mum, but he knows the bare facts of it, so surely it wouldn't be that big a deal to tell him about her TV time with mum when she was nine. This was her boyfriend she was thinking about, her boyfriend who gave up saving kids in Haiti for her. She told Castle. He didn't even have to ask and she told him. But that… that was different. Why was it different?

"Oh yeah." Kate shrugged. "Their head writer was murdered and we closed the case yesterday so you know, they gave me this signed picture to thank me… or something."

Josh looked it over sceptically. "I doubt it would have much worth on e-bay, but I guess it's the thought that counts."

She smiled to herself, as the feeling of warmth slowly began grow in her chest. It certainly was.

Suddenly her phone went off besides her. She quickly picked it up after the ID revealed it was Esposito. Josh watched on as she nodded quickly then hung up and shoved the last piece of toast in her mouth.

" 'anks or reakast." She swallowed and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "See you tonight."

* * *

"What have we got?"

Detective Beckett walked under the police tape as a uniform held it up for her. She walked down the dark alleyway to the end, where Ryan and Esposito were taking notes and Lanie Parish stood on a step ladder, staring into a large dumpster as forensics gathered pictures and samples.

"You're going to want to see this." Lanie looked over to Beckett, her face deadpan, but obviously surprised.

Beckett approached the dumpster as Ryan and Esposito looked on expectantly. The edge of the bin was just low enough for her to look over it and in to the mess below. There, between leaking black rubbish bags and rotting food, was a tall male body, dressed in thin black jeans and a hip plait shirt. But there was something terribly wrong.

"Oh my god. He's got no face!" Beckett looked back to see Castle behind her, staring wide-eyed into the dumpster. "That is _so_ cool!"

The body was indeed missing a face. The back of his head still had remnants of black hair but the front was so boiled and blistered that it looked like all features had been wiped off it.

Castle moved next to Beckett and leaned in for a closer look. "Look, even his nose is missing!" He turned his head on the side, staring at the small black holes where the body's nose used to be. "You know, he kind of looks like Voldemort." His face went serious and he turned to Beckett. "Oh my god, what if it's Voldemort?"

Beckett glared at him and snatched her coffee from his hand. "Fictional character Castle." He shut up but gave a quick smile, and she quickly turned away when she realised just how close they were standing next to each other, their bodies just touching. "So what's the story Lanie?"

Lanie looked down in the dumpster from her stepladder. "Well, guessing from body development I'd say it's a male in his mid-twenties. TOD around 1 am last night. Not sure about cause of death until we get him out of the trash and into the morgue. As for the face, it seems like it was burned off."

"Death by acid!" Castle shot up hopefully.

Lanie rolled her eyes. "Not so fast Dr No, we haven't found any traces of acids or alkaline, seems like it was heat that did it."

Beckett looked back at the missing face. "The back of his head is relatively intact, so it couldn't have been done by an oven…"

"There's also no marking indicating his was burned on a surface, like a hot plate." Lanie finished.

"Volcano." Castle offered.

Beckett looked back at him with raised eyebrow and he shut up quickly. "Anything else while we're here?" She looked back at Lanie.

"Yeah. It's going to be a bitch identifying the guy," She nodded to one of the forensics team who reached into the dumpster and lifted up the bodies arm, revealing its hand from under the garbage. "because not only is his face missing, but someone kindly removed all his fingers."

* * *

**NB:**

**Da Da DAAAAA! Well hello there Castle fans! It's been a while since I was last writing for fanfiction, and my first ever time for Castle, but an idea popped into my head and I can't seem to get rid of it. So, rather than drown it out with alcohol and cheese, I have decided to let it out. **

**That's right – alcohol and cheese. Try a fondue shot. It's disgusting, but awesome! Just like the 70s….**

**Anywho, back to the point, which is – this fiction! So, what am I doing here? Skipping the existentialism, my reason for being here is to attempt to write a full on interesting crime for Caskett to solve, surrounding a full on interesting hook up between Caskett to have. So, if all goes to plan, this will have a plot **_**and **_**fluff **_**and **_**sexual tension fulfilment. So you better hope it goes to plan – 'cause this part is up to you: you review, you feed my brain, my brain is happy, my brain writes better fanfiction. I've got a flow chart of the process somewhere, but for now you'll just have to trust me on this. So REVIEW! **

***poof***


	2. Chapter II

**Chapter II**

"A hipster, in a dumpster, with no face or fingers. Performance art gone wrong?"

Castle sat down next to Beckett on the edge of her desk and looked up with her to the murder board, the large blank spaces taunting them.

"Whoever did this knew what they were doing. Even all the clothing tags were ripped off." Beckett sighed.

"Maybe the killer was just shocked at his taste in fashion." Castle remarked glibly then turned back to her. "Speaking of shocking, Alexis is cooking me dinner tonight. You free?"

Beckett suddenly realised her hand was almost touching Castle's as they rested them against the edge of her desk, and a hot flash ran up her arm, but she didn't move away.

"Ah… what? Why?" She tried to salvage from her surprise.

"It's a monumental occasion in her life!"

"Castle, being a daughter of yours, she must have learnt to change her own diaper before you did."

"_True, _but what I delivered in shoddy parenting I made up for with amazing cooking. And since she's heading off to college soon I thought it was about time to let her out from under my delicious culinary wing and set her free to find her own place in the wonderful gastronomical world."

Beckett raised her eyebrow playfully. "So she's cooking you dinner."

"It's not just _any_ dinner. This is the final test after months of intensive training, of mastering the super secret Castle recipes, of becoming one with the kitchen utensils. _No_, this isn't just any meal, this is a rite of passage!" He clasped his hand into a fist and raised it up dramatically.

"So she's cooking you dinner." Beckett teased.

Castle's pose fell to an anticlimax. "In a word: yes."

She smiled sweetly. "So why do want me there? I don't want to crash on your father-daughter time." A question suddenly rushed through her brain – why wasn't she flatly saying no? She had plans with Josh tonight, why doesn't she just tell Castle?

"Well," He interrupted her thoughts. "Mother is away for a few days chasing a casting director, and I need a Paula Abdul to my Simon Cowell."

"What about a Randy Jackson?"

"No one needs one of those."

"Yo!" Esposito walked in with a smile on his face and a folder in his hand as Ryan followed behind. "Guess who's dating a genius!" Esposito pointed to himself triumphantly.

Beckett rolled her eyes. "What did Lanie find?"

"Check it out," Esposito continued smiling as he pulled out a photo from the folder but held it close to his chest as he backed up against the white board. "Lacerations indicate cause of death was a blow to the back of the head. The mutilation of the face and the removal of the finger tips were both done post-mortem."

"Sounds like a very conscientious killer." Castle chimed in.

"And?" She tried to hurry Esposito up.

"Dr Parish took an x-ray of him." He slapped the photo on the board. "Turns out the guy had a knee reconstruction a couple of years back. On one of the surgical pins, there is a serial number which was traced all the way back to a hospital in Wellington, New Zealand." He pulled out another photo, this time a headshot of a young man with the same tuft of black hair as the John Doe. "Our guy is Jason Graham, 26 years old, been living in New York for about 3 years down in the East Village and works at a café there called 'The Source'."

Beckett stood up from the desk. "Congratulations Esposito, you really are dating a genius."

She reached out to pick up the phone when he stopped her. "Uh-uh, that's not all." She stopped and turned back around where Esposito was still grinning. "Lanie found small traces of lactose on Jason Graham's face. Also, the lab has determined there was only one way the face could have been damaged like this…"

"Steam." Ryan folded his arms and smiled.

Esposito shot a hurt look over to him. "Dude, that was my line –"

"Hold on guys," Beckett interjected. "Do you mean steam as in…"

"As in the highly pressurised water used to froth milk by a commercial espresso machine?" Esposito raced in, then nodded in satisfaction. "Exactly."

Castle contorted his face and looked back at Beckett. "Remind me to stop drinking cappuccinos."

* * *

"How long would it take to melt a guy's face off?" Castle thought aloud as he as Beckett drove them through the traffic, heading to the victim's café. "I mean, even with the steam on full blast, it must have taken a while to do real damage."

"Shows our killer isn't squeamish." Beckett replied gravely.

"Also isn't that concerned about hygiene. Must have been one hell of a clean up." He thought deeply about it for a second then shuddered with disgust. Beckett pulled up by the café and unbuckled her seat belt.

"By the way, you never replied to my invitation to Alexis' cooking exam." Castle added as they got out of the car.

"I don't know Castle…" She tried as she joined him on the footpath. She was so tempted by the idea of joining the frivolity of a Castle family dinner, but a voice in the back of her mind of shouting at her to remember she had, for one night only, a handsome Josh at her home cooking her a romantic meal. They had a second chance since he stayed in New York – why wasn't she embracing it like she should?

"It won't be a long night," Castle continued with his pitch "entrees are served at 6:30. And Alexis would love for you to be there, if only to provide a buffer from me."

She felt a smile creep onto her face. She found it more difficult these days to say no to his cute pouting. Anyway, she thought, if she stays there for at least an hour, she could still go back home to Josh in time and he would be none the wiser.

"All right Castle, I'll be your buffer." She surrendered as they approached the bustling café.

"Mind out of the gutter Detective Beckett!" He feigned shock.

She didn't rebuff him like she would have only a few months ago, instead she just gave a small cheeky smile and continued walking.

* * *

**N/B**

**Right, yes, I know – smaller chapter. I just wanted to get this one out, but the next one will be out quicker than you think. Maybe. If you think it'll be out in 2.45 seconds then you can just give up now, cause it won't. **

**Now, as for the occasional lapses into English spelling and phrases I apologise profusely, and I do try to catch myself from doing it – the last thing I want to be is the literary equivalent of Sam Worthington's "American" accent in Avatar. *shudder***

**Anywho, with all this coffee talk I'm off to get myself some, and when I return, I hope that there will be sweet, sweet reviews waiting for me to help fire up my creative engines! Cause right now my creative engine is covered up with a sheet and sitting in the back shed, rusting up. Not a pretty sight. So REVIEW! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter III

**Chapter III**

The Source was a bustling café, trendy 20-somethings and dishevelled graduate students gravitated outside it, sitting on cushioned milk crates and resting their coffees on old graffitied wooden wire spools. Beckett weaved her way through the throng and walked into the café as Castle followed behind, lapping up the atmosphere and the heavy aroma of coffee.

The interior was just as ironically run down and full of caffeine-addicts. Shoved in a corner was large copper roaster, its large pan full of cooling coffee beans hypnotising those around it. But the main feature of the room was the espresso machine. Propped up on the bench like a false idol, its smooth matte red finish made it look like it came straight out of a futurist's dream as it spurt and spattered jets of steam. Two men in their early 30s stood behind it, their faces shadowed and serious as they performed their intricate craft.

Beckett walked up to the bench next to it, where another man stood behind the cashier, furiously writing down new orders. He looked up quickly as she approached.

"Awrigh'?" The man let out a thick London accent, contradicting his dark features. "What can I get you two today?"

She pulled out her badge casually. "Detective Beckett, NYPD. This is my partner Richard Castle."

Castle looked at her in surprise but she seemed not to notice the fact that she openly called her annoying writer shadow 'her partner'.

"Trevor Andoh, I'm the owner here." The cashier nodded. "What's up?"

She hid her badge away as he looked at them expectantly. This was the part she hated – to break the news of someone's death was never easy. Try as she might, she never found a proper way to phrase it.

"Mr Andoh I'm afraid we found the body of Jason Graham this morning."

"What?" He looked more confused than shocked.

She tried to continue a bit more cautiously. "It appears he was murdered."

Trevor stood in silence for moment, letting the news sink in then he turned to the guys working on the espresso machine. "Oi Will!" The older of the two baristas looked up from the cappuccino he was pouring. "Some bloke's done in Jason!"

Will smacked the milk jug down on the bench. "About bloody time!" He barked with another London accent.

Castle and Beckett both shot each other looks of surprise.

"Ah…" Castle started, an eyebrow raised as he turned back to Trevor. "Maybe not the best reaction for a guy that's been murdered."

"Look," Trevor sighed exasperatedly "Jason was a two-faced wanker. I'd be lying to you if I said I was sorry."

"The man worked for you for over a year." Beckett retorted.

"We ain't seen the guy for three months now, ever since he turned on us and started working for the convicts a few blocks down."

She turned to Castle for a translation. "I'm guessing Australians." He muttered quickly.

"Look," Trevor continued. "I got a café to run here. You want to find out more about Jason, I suggest you go to Spit Take on 5th and 10th. We've got nothing more to do with the guy."

Beckett studied the man carefully. "Thanks for your time Mr Andoh, I'm sure we'll meet again."

Trevor nodded then motioned to the line of costumers stacking up behind the two and hurriedly began to take orders again. Beckett started for the door as she heard Castle sulk next to her.

"Aw, we're not going to get take-aways? This case is such a tease!" He shoved his hands in his coat pockets gruffly.

She smiled and took one last deep breath of the roasting coffee then stepped outside to the smell of New York fumes.

* * *

"They seemed a bit too touchy over a guy who just switched jobs." She pondered as they strolled down the street towards Greenwich Village.

"I don't know, this is the coffee world we're talking about, and from the guy who must appease you each morning with a large skim latte, I'd say it's not that surprising."

"Am I really that horrible without my coffee?"

He tensed up. "I plead the fifth."

Beckett shook her head smiling and softly shoved Castle with her elbow. He beamed at her.

"So," he continued, "you think the red espresso machine could have melted off our vic's face?"

"I doubt it. In such a small space it would be impossible just for the stench to disappear in only a few hours."

Castle's face turned queasy. "Maybe I should postpone Alexis' exam…"

They arrived at the Spit Take. Despite it's vulgar name, the café was actually more up-market than it's English rival. A seasoned crowd of academics and a scattering of suits lazed on the white wooden chairs, the café's large open windows merging the interior with the street outside. As they walked in to the airy café, Castle took a deep audible breath and looked over to Beckett with a raised eyebrow, as if to say 'think they could get the stench out in this room?'. She gave a discreet nod then they moved over to one of the waitresses after she finished serving a costumer.

"Good afternoon, my name's Detective Beckett, this is Richard Castle; we're with the NYPD. Could we speak to the owner of the café?" She rattled off automatically.

"Sure." The young waitress smiled nervously. "Just take a seat, I'll get him for you."

Castle plonked himself happily on an overstuffed leather coach as Beckett watched the waitress move behind the large silver espresso machine and whisper in the ear of an attractive man in his late 30's with short salt and pepper hair. The man nodded and looked over to Beckett, who raised her hand in acknowledgment. He moved over to them quickly and outstretched his hand, smiling.

"Hi, Greg Simmons. I understand you're with the NYPD?" He shook her hand then Castle's, and sat down in a chair next to him.

"Kate Beckett and Richard Castle." She joined them in their little circle.

"What can I do for you?" Greg's Australian accent was sprinkled with a touch of English.

"It's about Jason Graham. I'm afraid he was murdered last night." Beckett said sombrely.

Greg looked at her strangely a second, then suddenly burst out into laughter. She sat back in surprise and glanced at Castle in confusion who had his hands up in defeat. She turned back to the laughing Australian.

"I'm sorry Mr Simmons, but this is no laughing matter. A man has been murdered." She glared at him seriously.

"I know." He sputtered to a halt with his laughter. "I know, he probably didn't deserve it…but still… he kinda _did _deserve it."

"That sentence makes no sense!" Castle blurted out.

Beckett ignored him and tried again with Greg. "What makes you say that?"

He examined her for a moment. "I'm guessing you've been to The Source?"

"They're the ones that sent us here." Castle leaned back in the coach confidently. "Said Jason betrayed them three months ago when he started working for you."

"Ha." Greg smiled wryly.

"So he betrayed you too." Castle studied him.

"Guess that's what happens when you hire an opportunistic bastard." He muttered.

"What did he do Simmons?" Beckett tried a bit more pressure.

"What did Trevor tell you?" He asked cautiously.

"What's the story between you and Andoh?" She sidestepped.

"You know, rivals from a while back." He folded his arms. "Not too long ago, you couldn't get a decent cup of coffee in London to save your life. Then there was this sort of invasion of Aussie and Kiwi ex-pats where we set up café's with _proper_ espresso coffee. In only a couple of years, we had made a huge impact in the London scene, and all these poms like Trevor and his mate Will started to pick up on it."

Beckett stole a quick glance at Castle. "Prisoner Of Mother England." He whispered quickly.

"Anyway," Greg continued, "I told them about a year ago that I was ready to pack up shop and head over to New York, where you only had a choice between complete piss and Starbucks, and they pretty much tasted the same anyway."

"And Trevor beat you to it?" Beckett caught on.

"The prick stole the real estate from straight under my nose." He fumed. "Took me months to find another place for that price."

"And Jason Graham came to work with you." Castle finished.

"He popped in only a few days after we opened, asking for a job. Said he wanted to learn from the master, and that he was planning to compete in the Barista Championships wearing a Spit Take apron."

"And why did he come to you?" She asked.

"Three of my pupils have won the world title. I've won it twice." He answered frankly. "And this kid, he was a coffee savant. Only a couple of months here and he had a real chance of taking the title for us. But then last week he suddenly throws it in my face saying he's competing independently, that he'd use the prize money to set up his own place down the road. Haven't seen the kid since, and haven't cared."

The two sat in silence when Castle piped up. "Shouldn't you feel proud that he was heading out on his own, making his own future?"

"The only thing that kid wanted was to scramble to the top of his little world and throw down everyone who helped him get there. I know I should feel some sympathy for his death, but hey." He shrugged.

"Well," Beckett gave a small sigh. "Thank you for your time Mr Simmons, I'm sure we'll have more questions for you as the investigation continues."

" 'Course." He stood up. "Hey, you two want any coffees while you're here? On the house."

Beckett looked over at Castle, who was grinning like a small child. "Sounds great." She nodded as her phone started to vibrate in her pocket. "Excuse me." She pulled out her phone and walked outside to answer when she saw it was Josh calling. Before she answered, she looked back at Castle, who remained inside, but was obviously curious as to what caller could move her away from him.

"Hey Josh." She answered, and began to pace slowly along the pavement.

"Kate. Listen, just got home from the shops and wondered what time you think you'll be home."

"I ah…" She honestly didn't know what to tell him. She agreed to have dinner with Castle tonight, but could she tell Josh about it? Would he understand? She ran her hand through her hair. Surely she can't lie to her boyfriend? "The case…it's a tricky one… probably won't be back till say… nine?" She did. She lied to Josh.

"Nine is good for me." Josh replied cheerily, which made her feel even worse.

"Ok then." She tried to boost up her spirits.

"See you at nine. Love you!"

She was struck dumb. She's heard it many times before, she's said it to him many time before, but for some reason, at that moment, she literally had to force the words out of her mouth.

"Love you."

She hung up.

She turned round quickly only to find herself up against Castle's wide chest, his hands trying not to spill the two coffees enclosed in them as she bumped against him.

"Sorry." She blurted out awkwardly, a chill running through her as she stepped away from the sudden warmth of his body.

"Coffee?" He looked at her simply, a small paper cup held up.

"Looks a bit smaller than I'm used too…" She examined it.

"You know what they say Katharine Beckett," he smiled cheekily "it's not the size that matters b-"

"Give me that." She grabbed her coffee to shut him up and took her sip. Suddenly her face fell. "Woa!"

"I know right?" He grinned.

"I mean… woa!" Her voice suddenly went high pitched. Castle simply continued nodding. "Yeah." She took another sip of the delicious warm drink. "I could totally kill for that."

"Probably best _not_ to say that out loud Detective." He looked around shiftily guided her back to her car.

* * *

**N/B**

**Ok so, when I said this'd be out quick, I was being relative. But still – it's a longer chapter so hey! Don't exactly know what the point in my argument is, but I'll find one…. eventually. **

**Anywho, if you haven't noticed, this is my Ode to Coffee. Because let's face it, coffee is a big part of Castle, and I'm surprised they haven't done a story about it yet. So here I am doing a story about it. Hmmm…. coffee…**

**But now, here's the deal – I need you to be honest here. 'Cause I got to admit, I love the cases when they're on the show, but when I'm reading Castle fanfiction and it starts getting into a case, I slowly start getting bored and find the story so bone-crushingly tedious so I end up scrolling through the whole part until I get to the sweet Casketty innards! So, whether or not this is happening to you, I need you to tell me now – 'cause then I can fix it or leave it, depending on what you say. **

**That said, the next chapter is going to be all Caskett all the time, because it's dinnertime – and we all know what that means! Well, maybe you don't, but I do! Haha! I love one up-readers with my knowledge since I am the writer! Yes, I am indeed very, very petty. **

**So petty that I can't seem to stop writing this damn N/B. I'm so sorry. To make me shut up and save my writing energy for the actual story, please REVIEW! Cause otherwise you're just going to get a bland story and a page and a half of endless inane ranting. So REVIEW! for your own sake!**


	4. Chapter IV

**Chapter IV**

Kate fiddled with her dad's watch as she rode the elevator up to Castle's apartment. She had watched him skip home an hour before to be 'emotional backup' for Alexis as she stayed at the 12th to look over the murder board once more. She had the time and the reason to drop by her apartment to freshen up, but instead she stayed, gazed fixed at the names of suspects and motives, keeping a safe distance from her phone.

The elevator opened, leading her into the plush cream hallway of Castle's apartment. Just as she was a few feet from the door, her cell went off. She lifted it out from her coat pocket and glimpsed at the new message from Josh.

_Your oven is making strange loud noises. Have you ever even used it before? Will figure it out. Hope your case is treating you ok. Luv u. _

Kate gave a small frustrated sigh. Trust Josh to have perfect timing, yet again. She looked at her phone again, considering what to write back, when she thrust it back into her pocket and took the last steps to Castle's door, shaking off the message with four firm knocks.

The door swung open, revealing Castle in his best Simon Cowell get up, dark jeans and a black long sleaved t-shirt, rolled up casually up his arms. Kate tried not to think about how muscly his arms were, or how tightly the shirt fit around his toned chest.

"Katharine Beckett." He said ominously. "Welcome to the Ring of Fire. Proceed if you dare!… and, if you want to eat something tasty…"

"Just let her in dad!" A bright voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Not so fast my young padowan!" He continued staring at Beckett, whose tired face was now turning into a smile. "With your judging power comes great responsibility. Take this scorecard," he pulled out a small writing pad and a pencil from his back pocket "and judge wisely. The future of little Alexis depends on it!"

"Dad!" The voice from the kitchen was now more forceful.

Kate smiled and retrieved the writing pad from Castle's hand, all the time staring into his deep blue eyes. "Don't worry Alexis," she finally ripped herself away from his gaze and moved into the apartment and up to the kitchen "I've got your back."

Castle remained holding the door open for a moment, when he turned back to see Alexis and Kate chatting and laughing away in the kitchen. An irrepressible grin formed on his face as he watched his two favourite women bond in his apartment, savouring the moment so it would tide him over the long wait he knew he had to face until he and Kate could finally be together. He just had to continue to slowly chip away her defences and make sure he was always there for her, and in time it would happen. The ball was in her court now; he just needed to not screw it up completely.

"6:34 Alexis!" Castle closed the door and checked his watch. "Let the trial of deliciousness commence!" He leapt up to the kitchen and sat himself enthusiastically on the stool next to Kate as Alexis ran around the kitchen grabbing different platters and serving them gently on the bench in front of them.

"Ok, for entrées we have; small stuffed mushrooms with chorizo, teriyaki rice paper rolls and mini bruschetta!" Alexis chirped and smiled at the two, her mind still doing a happy dance over the fact that her dad finally got over himself and asked Kate along to the dinner.

"Wow Alexis!" Kate's face dropped as she was faced with the three platters full of canapés. This two dinners thing was going to be a lot harder than she imagined. "This looks absolutely amazing."

"Well, I hope it tastes just as good." Alexis wiped her hands on her apron.

Castle sat in feigned contemplation. "Hmm… interesting presentation, very minimalist. You shall score highly in this round." He covered his writing pad covertly with his arm and wrote a small note on to it, glancing up for a moment to check that no one was sneaking a look.

Kate just rolled her eyes and leaned over to him. "Give me that." She entangled her arms in his as she tried to steal the note pad off him and he raised it up playfully above his head.

"Detective Beckett!" He shot his eyebrows up in faux shock. "How dare you try to tamper with my scorecard!"

Kate tried desperately to suppress her smile as she jostled against Castle, then finally caught hold of the note pad, and with one quick yank, threw it over the room.

"And to think I invited you in to my home!" He huffed.

"She's your daughter Castle, just enjoy the food that _you_ didn't have to cook." Kate teased.

"Hmm…" He studied her. "You have a point." He turned back to Alexis who was watching them knowingly as they had flirted like 10 year olds. "Feed me child!"

"Feed yourself." She shot back. "I've got to finish off the main course!" She popped a rice paper roll in her mouth triumphantly and went back to cooking.

"Teenagers!" He rolled his eyes and grabbed a bruschetta.

Kate considered the entrees. She had it all planned out before she came, that she'd make up some excuse about having a big lunch and then just have half of every meal so she could fit it all in. It would be a hard slog, but she could make it. But now, faced with three different entrees and the warm smiles of the Castles, she had no excuse but to throw her plan out the window and just hope that Alexis wasn't cooking up giant serves of meatloaf for the main course. Sealing her fate, she reached for a stuffed mushroom and took a bite.

"Well?" Alexis looked over hopefully from the oven. "What do you think? Is it too greasy? Or too bland? I don't know if I put enough truffle oil in the mix. Is it ok?"

"This…" Kate looked down at her half eaten mushroom in wonder. "This is so good. How did you make this?"

Alexis beamed. "Secret Castle recipe, but I put my own spin on it, I'm glad you like it."

"Like it? It's heavenly." She finished the mushroom off quickly.

"I think Beckett is just amazed that anything so tasty hasn't come from a Styrofoam container." Castle teased as Kate glared back at him playfully. "But she's right pumpkin, this food is amazing. I'm so proud of my little chef – "

"Wait dad." Alexis quickly stopped him. "You can't say that yet, I could screw up the next two courses."

"I seriously doubt that, but I will halt my loving platitudes to concede to your adorable perfectionism." He gave a small bow.

"Just eat and be quiet Castle." Kate shoved a rice paper roll into his mouth.

He beamed at her with a full grin as he munched away on his unexpected paper roll. "So," he swallowed quickly and grabbed a stuffed mushroom, "what's the 411 on the coffee case? Any chance we can get a warrant to test the Spit Take for remnants of melted face?"

Kate shook off the image of disfigured flesh as she tried some of the bruschetta. "We don't have enough evidence for a warrant yet. But that Barista Championship Simmons told us about, turns out it kicks off in two days."

"You think the murderer pulled a Macbeth?" He finished off another mushroom.

"Possibly. God knows we've got more than enough motives already." She sighed.

"Maybe if we hit ten motives we get a free regular coffee?" He offered. Kate hid her smile.

"Ok guys," Alexis interrupted "I know a man was killed and I'm sorry about that, but is there any chance you could leave the melted face talk out of the kitchen when I'm about to serve the main course? I don't think it would work with the palate."

"No more melted face talk." Castle rested his hand on his heart. "Now m'dear, what have you got for us?"

Alexis placed two large plates in from of them with a satisfied smile. "Pan fried salmon on a potato rosti with an arugula, pine-nut and balsamic salad."

"Yep. That's it." He looked down at the beautifully presented, gorgeous smelling meal. "I'm never cooking again." He looked up at his daughter. "No more school for you, you're staying here and wearing that apron permanently."

She raised her eyebrows haughtily and took off her apron, then picked up her own plate and joined them on the other side of the bench, sitting next to Kate.

By then, Kate had become caught up in the world of the Castles and had all but forgotten her dinner with Josh. Hungrily she dived in to the delicious salmon, as Castle and Alexis riffed back and forth beside her about who was responsible for the amazing food.

"It's all about the genes Alexis."

"Oh, and not the month or so of practice and years of accumulating knowledge?"

"It's instinct. The moment you pick up a fry pan the Rick Castle in you kicks in, and you can do no culinary wrong."

"You didn't say that the first time I tried frying an egg."

"Well, maybe it takes a while to be in touch with your inner Richard Castle…"

Kate was smiling in between them when suddenly her phone went off with a message alert from inside her jacket, which was now lying at the end of the bench. As casual as possible, she got off her stool and walked over to her jacket. She knew whom the message was from. She had lost track of time so she could only guess how late it was, and she cursed to herself for getting carried away like she had. Although Alexis was still talking, she could still feel Castle gaze on her back as she pulled out the phone from the jacket. It was 9:10.

_Hi, didn't want to call in case you're in the middle of an interrogation or something. Just wanted to say that dinner's here when you can make it. Hope to see you soon. XOXO_

Crap. She looked up at Castle and Alexis, who had now stopped talking and were watching her. She quickly went in to panic mode.

"Alexis, I am so, so, sorry but I need to go." She moved up to her and gave her a quick hug and a friendly peck on the cheek.

"That's ok. It was great for you to come." Alexis put on an understanding smile.

"It really was an amazing meal, thank you." Kate started to back away to the door.

"Is it something to do with the case?" Castle frowned, his mind trying to quickly find a reason to make her stay.

"Nothing like that." She replied quickly, eyes still on Alexis, refusing to look at his hurt face. "Just late for something. I should ah, go. Thanks for the dinner!" She gave a quick wave then opened the door and was gone.

Kate closed her eyes and sighed in frustration as she walked briskly up to the elevator and punched in the down button.

Why did Castle always have to complicate things? She has been trying so hard with Josh to make it work, she had taken her two feet inside with him, but then these moments with Castle, those looks, those touches, those smiles…it just clouded her head until she didn't know what she wanted. All she needed to do was just get back to her apartment, spend quality time with Josh, and it would all sort itself out. Her head would clear; she just needed to get away from Castle.

She punched the down button again.

The opened down the hallway. She could sense Castle slowly walking towards her, but she kept her eyes fixed forward.

"You left your coat." He held her jacket up for her and she looked at him, his face serious, but unreadable. "Is everything ok?" He asked softly.

"Just…" She was about to start, but instead she took the coat from his hands. "Leave it." She murmured. "Just leave it." She stared at the elevator again, willing it to open.

He remained next to her. Silent. Always silent. Always so conscientious and always such a gentleman. Always giving her space and always backing off when Josh appeared; always following her and always being there for her and always silent. Well, silent in one particular way. The one particular way that so frustratingly clouded her thoughts.

"What are you doing here Castle?" She suddenly spat out. "What do you want from me?"

"Beckett…" He started with a deep voice and took a step closer to her. She put up her hand to stop him, but landed on his warm chest as he moved closer. Her heart rate quickened as she looked up to his sad eyes and she kept her hand resting upon him.

Suddenly, as if their proximity to each other had doubled their gravitational pull, Castle leaned in and picked up Kate's lips in his. His hand cupped her cheek then ran through her hair as Kate shock of the sudden kiss wore off, and she became hypnotised by the smell and the taste of him. She opened her mouth and deepened the kiss as her hand ran down his chest around to his back.

_Ding._

The elevator opened next to her, snapping Kate back to reality. She was kissing Castle. She was late for dinner with Josh. She pulled away, but stopped for an instant to look in to his pleading eyes, as she tried to regain her breath, then quickly ripped herself away and ran into the elevator, furiously pressing the door close button.

"Kate!" He tried to collect his thoughts as he watched the elevator doors close. He knew she needed time to process, but he still couldn't stand to see her go.

As her mind raced and her heart ran, she took one last look at Castle as the doors closed, leaving her alone in the metal box.

She kissed Castle and she enjoyed it.

Crap.

* * *

**N/B**

**Teeheeheehee! Smoochy smoochy time! So yes, this was a hard chapter to write, cause I really wanted to get to point A and still stay true to the characters. And with Castle and Beckett always going slowly but surely with their relationships, it's bloody hard to throw a spanner in the works where they would still act **_**in **_**character. 'Cause if there's one thing I tried to in all my fanfics is to keep the bastards in character! **

**Yes, there be my manifesto.**

**But now the important stuff – if you wish to see what Beckett does when she gets home, what Castle does when he gets back home, and how Beckett and Castle act when they get back to work, please REVIEW! I may seem needy, but that's because I am. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, for you are now all added to my Shrine of Wonders. And only awesome people ever get to be added in that shrine. So Review! Ciao!**


	5. Chapter V

**Chapter V**

Kate padded down the hallway to her apartment. Her hand was reaching in her jacket for her keys but her mind was far elsewhere.

She kissed Castle.

No pretence, no ulterior motive; but a real, passionate, unexpected kiss. She could still feel the pressure of his lips on hers and the heat from his body as it was thrust against hers.

Her brain skipped at once from joy to guilt to lust to dread to panic, that it ended up clouding in to one all encompassing state of mind: utter confusion.

As she reached the door to her apartment she knew it was the last place on earth she wanted to be right now. Just on the other side was her gorgeous and loving doctor boyfriend who had been waiting patiently for her with a home cooked meal. He thought she was hard at work when she was actually off kissing Richard Castle.

_Castle. _

What did it mean? She knew Castle cared deeply for her, how could she not notice? But her feelings for him… they were something she was more than happy to keep locked up in a file labelled 'Don't You Dare'. Thoughts had been leaking out after their first kiss, but she had frantically bundled them up again with the excuse that they were simply 'undercover'. But now…

The door swung open and Josh's smiling face filled her view.

"Thought I heard you hanging outside." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and guided her in to her apartment with his hand on the small of her back. Kate obeyed automatically and quickly tried to put her cover face on, the face that she had worn for years since her mother's death, that got her through being the only attractive woman in the precinct, that only Castle had been able to see through.

"Hope your day wasn't too bad." Josh helped her out of her jacket and offered her a chair at the table. It was already set with Kate's best silverware and china, the placings set closely together at the corner, and her romantic candles scattered around the middle, providing the main source of light for the room.

She felt a stab of guilt in her chest. How could she keep doing this?

Josh had moved in to the kitchen as she collapsed on to the chair. "Don't worry about being late." He pulled out a dish from the oven. "I made lasagna, it was easy to keep warm." He placed it down before her on the table then leaned in close to her face.

"Least I could do for my gorgeous detective." He murmured as he closed the gap between their lips and gave her a soft kiss.

* * *

Castle charged through the door of his apartment and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. Wringing his hand through his hair he hit speed dial thrust the cell to his ear and pleaded for the call to connect.

"_This is Detective Kate Beckett of the 12__th__ Precinct. I cannot take your call…"_

Castle swore under his breath and tensed up in frustration as he waited impatiently for the beep.

"Kate! Listen I…" He sighed and ran his hand through his hair; his brilliant mind had gone completely blank. "Please don't freak out just… call me. Or I'll call you again… we should, you know… talk. Please. I'll see you tomorrow." He hung up.

Suddenly he felt numb as all the adrenaline ran out of his body and the full weight of his actions crashed against him.

"Dad…" A quiet voice rose from the kitchen. Castle had not noticed Alexis standing there, watching him in silence since he ran in. "What happened?"

"I've made a huge mistake." His voiced sounded hollow, his eyes staring off in to blank space.

His legs gave way as he dropped to the couch and Alexis quickly moved from the kitchen and carefully sat next to him, instinctively placing a caring hand on his knee.

"I kissed Beckett."

Alexis' worried face turned sympathetic. "Oh dad…"

"I am _so _stupid." He spat with contempt. "It was going so well… we were so close, closer than we'd ever been, I just had to wait a little longer… " He looked to his daughter with sad eyes. "Now your idiot dad's screwed it all up. Again."

Alexis gave a small warm smile and pulled him in for a hug. His large arms wrapped around her as she settled her head into the nook of his chest. Castle gave a deep sigh as he rested his cheek against his daughter's deep red hair. She had always been able to comfort him in his darkest moods, but somehow right now, even with his dearest daughter nuzzled close in his arms, his heart was still in torment.

"Did she kiss you back?" Alexis's voice brought him out from his thoughts.

"What?" He looked down as she pulled away slightly from him and looked up.

"Did she kiss you back?"

"For a second…but then she ran off in complete panic." He looked away sadly.

"Dad…" Alexis started carefully as she sat up. "I'm not sure how to put this but I think you need some girl perspective here… even if it's kind of from your own daughter." Castle gave a faint smile. " The thing is; Detective Beckett is pretty much the personification of a Bad Ass Mother…you know. If she didn't want to kiss you, she would have thrown your ass down as soon as you went all gooey-eyed. Ok, she freaked out, but that doesn't mean it's over. I mean, I can tell she's not one to share her feelings, but I know she cares for you dad. _Really _cares for you. And you, you've been smitten with her since day one. So if you ask me, I say it's about time you did something to shake you both into reality."

Castle looked down at his daughter in surprise as she gave a knowing smile.

"But you're still an idiot."

* * *

Kate stared at the square of lasagne on her plate, as Josh happily ruminated about the absurdity of bringing high end surgical robots into third world countries. She had to tell him. She knew she did. But what would it mean? Would they just pass it off and keep going, or would this be the catalyst for their break-up? She knew there was only one way to find out. She just had to bite the bullet and tell him. Just tell him now. _Now. _

"But literally, in this hospital, all the thousand dollar machines were just rusting up cause they had no idea how to use – "

"Josh I need to tell you something."

He lowered his fork as his expression changed to concern. Kate took in a breath.

"I ah… Castle kissed me."

She heard his fork drop on to the table as his body tensed up. He paused for a moment as he processed the news, then he bluntly pounded his fist the table. Kate waited for him to speak, but he remained silent, his face strained in a quiet pain.

"Did you…" His deep voice started.

"…kiss him back?" She tried to help him with the words he obviously didn't want to say. "For a second." She didn't want to hurt him, but just this once she knew she had to be honest, no matter what.

"Hmm…" He nodded bitterly, still tense.

"I'm sorry Josh." She reached for his hand.

"No you're not." He murmured.

"Don't say that."

He finally looked at her. "Ok, you're sorry for me but don't tell me you didn't want to kiss him."

Kate remained silent.

"Knew it." Josh stood up, his hand whipping away from underneath Kate's as he moved over to the kitchen counter and grabbed his jacket.

"Josh, don't just leave…" She stood up from the table.

"Why?" He tossed on his jacket. " 'Cause we're actually going to have a proper conversation? You're going to let me into that head of yours? Or are you just going to run back to your little writer like you always do?"

"That's not fair." Kate's face turned stern.

Josh let out a frustrated sigh. "I know."

They stood in silence. She watched the flickering candle light dance on his handsome face, now contorted in deep thought.

"He called your name as soon as he was conscious…" He spoke, as if to himself. "When you were stuck in the freezer… soon as he woke up he called for you." He roused himself from his memories and looked over at her as she stood in wait by the table. "I'm in love with you Kate. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. When I cancelled my flight to Haiti I made a promise never to let you go ever again. But I can't… I can't keep fooling myself." Kate remained silent. "You're never going to let me in, because you don't need me. You've got him."

She opened her mouth in rebuttal and took a step forward when he put up his hand to stop her. "No. You can say it was a onetime mistake but I know a sign when I see it. I'm going to get out of your way now." He lowered his hand then moved up to Kate, and with a sharp pained breath, gave her a final kiss on her forehead. "Don't make me regret this Kate. Have a great life with him, ok?"

He looked down at her with sad eyes as gazed back into them silently. "Ok." He whispered to himself, and then with one final look he turned away and walked out the door.

Kate stood alone in her apartment, the remnants of a failed dinner still warm on the table. She looked down at her jacket, knowing her switched off phone which lay inside would be filling up with frantic messages from Castle. She let it be. It had been a long day, a roller coaster of emotions. Right now, all she needed to do was reconcile her thoughts, to clear her head so she could figure out what to do next. Sat back down at the empty table, sipped at her wine and gave a deep breath.

She was free.

* * *

**N/B**

**Ah… hi there! So. Long time no see. Sorry about that. Seems the past few weeks my fangirl mind has been so preoccupied by the return of a certain mad man in a blue box that I lost all creative juices for Castle fics. But no fear! I have returned thanks to ridiculously tension-filled scenes in hotel rooms! Hmm… hotel rooms….**

**Right! What was I going to say? Ah yes – this chapter. Well, this chapter is this chapter. Meaning Kate and Josh broke up… YAY! Sorry, is it wrong to be so happy about people's deep sadness? Probably! But who the hell cares, she's free I tells ya, free! So is she going to spend the night alone? Will she see Castle tomorrow at work? Will there be sexual awkwardness? Well? Huh. No answers I see. Guess I'll just have to do all the work myself! Again! *ungrateful reade…**

**Woa, sorry. Schizophrenic writer outburst there. To keep my tortured alter ego firmly in its cage, please REVIEW! Don't worry; I take good care of it. I give it candy on Tuesday afternoons. Do you want candy? **


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